What's a bride to wear?
Don't let this queer girl conundrum interfere with your big day.
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| LOTL - Queer Girl Bride's Wear |
It wasn’t as easy for Tan as it was for me when looking for a wedding outfit. She was not wanting to wear a dress or a white pant suit, and when looking at wedding blogs and sites, it was typically men wearing the suits that she liked and in most cases were not in any way fitted for a woman's shape.
We shopped around for months for what she had in mind. Luckily, after collecting bits and pieces over time, she finally found a hot outfit - skinny legged tailored pants with a cute button up shirt in a soft red and white check with brown suspenders and a sparkly bow-tie!
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| LOTL - Lesbian Wedding Wear |
And as for my dress, I must admit…I shed a few tears due to moments of indecisiveness. You see, I'm one of those girls who always dreamed of having a wedding, being able to wear an over the top dress that I would never wear again, and in my heart I knew what I wanted. My dream dress was a Grace Kelly inspired 1950's floor length ball gown in ivory. Sounds easy right?! Well. In the world of wedding gowns and bridal accessories, it was not as easy as I had imagined! There was no walking in, falling in dress-heaven, and picking one on the first, second or third go. There were thousands of options and styles, and overwhelming amounts of white fluffy fabric to the point that I felt like I couldn't breathe! Also, the women in these stores are a breed of their own. I definitely did not want to go into the details of my wedding with them (the fact that my groom is actually my bride) and so I was looking for a simple and quick transaction. Pick a dress, pay for it, and wait the six months until I could pick it up.
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| LOTL - Free Lesbian |
I think it was because of this that I rushed everything along a little too far, and hence the tears. It was a rough day, and I found myself in yet another bridal store. I couldn't see my dream dress, but I started being manipulated by other beautiful dresses. Looking back on it now, it was as though I was settling for second best just so that I could ensure that I actually had a dress ready in time. So I settled! I found one, put my deposit down, and that's when the bomb hit.
Right across the street from the bridal store that I had just left was my dream dress. It was literally everything that I had hoped for and more. I could not believe it. It was right there, all along! Just in another store! Something in me clicked. I embodied the typical bride that I thought I would never become. I ran back into the store and explained that the dream dress I wanted was across the road. I think I scared them a little. They assured me that they would do everything that they could to alter the dress. I felt somewhat relieved but overwhelmed with doubt.
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| LOTL - Queer me now, Queer Folk |
I called Tan, who always knows when and how to kick some sense in to me. I started crying, and told her the whole thing. It was a good idea to call her. She said with utter calmness and seriousness that I should simply lose my deposit on the Plan B dress, and do what ever it took to get Plan A. I pondered over it for two days, went through all the conflict of feeling like a typical bridezilla and wondering how I ever got to this point, and finally did exactly that. I lost the deposit, but when I explained the story to the dream dress shop, they subtracted the deposit from the final cost! I am so happy that I made that decision. It was actually everything I had ever dreamt of, and now all I had to do was wait. But then we had the rest of the wedding to plan. Who to invite? What was our budget? Where? To be continued.
Cushla Safi is gathering style inspiration for androgynous and butch brides on her www.lotl.com Add her on Facebook for updates!
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